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Thursday, March 04, 2004
 
Put me in coach

How many people are afraid to poop in public? I don't mean in the middle of a park somewhere, I mean in a public restroom. I talked to two people (who shall remain nameless...but they were both girls) who told me that they hated dumping in public restrooms because they were afraid that other people would know what they were doing.

"Even if your quiet about it, they people in the stalls next to you can hear if you take more than one piece of toilet paper! One piece = goin pee, anymore than that and they _know_"

*

My knee has been troubling me for the past month or so. I've been seeing a sports medicine doc and along with some anti-inflammatory pills he prescribed some physical therapy. I've never been to a physical therapist before and it was kinda neat. I always like it when a doctor can tell you with certainty what's goin wrong and how to fix it.

My PT was very good. She showed me what a normal knee looks like, what me knee was doing in comparison and explained how we were gonna fix it. Huzzah. Luckily it doesn't seem like a big deal. Basically she told me that my knee cap naturally "rides high". It's also apparently a little outta alignment compared to a normal knee. All that causes it to "swim around" a lil. Her solution is to do some strengthening of my quad muscles to keep that kneecap in line. Hopefully it will work...I'd like to be able to play soccer again soon.

*

I built a sauna this week. Well sort of. H-bomb ordered this "pre-fab" sauna to aid in her Lyme treatment. It came in about 10 pieces with poorly written instructions that left us scratching our heads for a lot of the process. It was strange to me that such an expensive piece of equipment would come with such horrible directions -- directions completely devoid of illustrations. But we figured it all out in the end and now there's a sauna in her garage. Knowing that I was instrumental in it's construction made me extremely concerned for H-bomb's safety while she actually used it. Apparently it works fine...but I don't think I'm ready to go in it yet.

*

A big golf tournament took place last week. It was a match-play competition that featured many of the top players. Since my dad's house is right on the course...the game basically took place in his backyard. I had dinner with him (and other family members) last night. He told me that he was hanging out outside for much of the semi-finals and had the television broadcast of the event piped out to the exterior speakers. This was partially so that he could be outdoors and hear it...but also so that the course rangers and tournament staff (those who were stationed at the hole close by) could listen in as well.

Since it was late-round match-play there wasn't much activity on the course and he left the broadcast blasting on (for the aforementioned reasons) and went inside to putz around. Lost in his other tasks he suddenly remembered what he had done sometime later and turned to one of the TV's inside to see that the tournament had made it's way to the hole just beyond his yard. The announcers were saying something like, "Davis Love is clearly distracted right now by one of the near-bye residents who's television is blaring out onto the golf course".

My dad bolted outside and he said the entire audiences attention followed him as he ran across the backyard to the remote control where he finally turned the volume down.

Love's opponent had not yet taken his tee shot yet but Love did. After my dad turned the sound down he turned back towards the course to see the other golfer's caddy surreptitiously give him the thumbs up.

*

-B

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