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Saturday, July 10, 2004
I would do anything for love....but I won't do that.

It's been a tumultuous couple of days in my relationship with H-bomb.

A couple nights ago we abruptly resumed the conversation we started in our "big talk" a few months ago. The question of whether or not we were "marriage-bound" was once again central to the discussion. Once again we seemed to agree that we were both happy with what our relationship is, but not with what it will likely become.

We both seemed to feel that the differences in our personalities didn't seem to bode well for the long term, and that our relationship had sorta "stalled out". The phrase "going nowhere" seemed to come up a lot.

I left her house yesterday morning basically feeling as if we had broken up but - due to the existence of a pair of airline tickets and hotel reservations - we hadn't yet decided on when to do it. Our planned trip to Hawaii in August would have been an easy thing to deal with had one of us simply said, "I don't really like you anymore". But that not being the case we weren't really sure what to do.

We talked more about it last night. We had been in agreement so much during these discussions we both said that if we were to break up we wanted it to be able to agree that it was the right thing for us to do.

Which left a lot of long, tearful, silences. Neither one of us really ready to "pull the trigger".

So we came up with what is either a solution, or maybe just putting off the inevitable. Either way it seemed to satisfy both of us.

We decided to stay together through August at least. We would not break our travel plans, and we would enjoy these summer months together.

Come the end of August we expect that...feeling much as we do now about the prospect of a possible marriage between us...our relationship (as it is now) will likely come to some sort of an end. I'm sort of thinking of it like one of us will be moving to another country or something. We can both sort of point to the circumstances of our relationship rather than ourselves when the time comes to part ways (if that makes any sense).

I'm not saying this "plan" is fool-proof by any means. There's nothing that says that in 5 or 6 weeks we don't come to the point where we thought we would break-up and decide to put it off once more...or put it off indefinitely. It's obviously much easier to stay in a relationship that's comfortable (but may not be right) than to go through the pain caused by a break-up.

Maybe it's just folly to think we can "schedule" this sort of thing and it will make it easier for some reason. On the other hand it's hard to think of any right or wrong way to go about doing it. So I guess we'll just keep on trying to sort this stuff our together and to do it fairly and as "right" as we can.


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Wednesday, July 07, 2004
Never free, never me, so I dub the unforgiven.

--> Here's where I write something about how I haven't posted in a while. <---

Now that that's out of the way:

The 4th of July - Woo Hoo! I had a super-great holiday which consisted of lots of playing soccer, lotsa swimming in the ocean, and lotsa riding my bike up the coast. I got to visit with all my peeps, including Liz the outta towner, and The Buhrs (who I guess are also outa towners but closer than Liz).

Work has been very very busy for me lately, but I think we've finally managed to put the finishing touches in this latest project. Hopefully things will slow down a bit now. Why is it though that the longest part of a project is the last little bit? It just seems like it takes so long to tie up all the little loose ends.

Adam and Diana recorded the worst movie ever for me on my request: Lord of the G-string: Femaleship of the String.

It's not what you would call a sensitive, character-driven, tour-de-force.

It's more like a hastily put-together, poor excuse for soft-core porn. Which is exactly what I was expecting.

What I wasn't expecting was the cheesy "comedy". I was much more hoping for lots of unintentional humor. Instead the movie fancied itself a "parody" with a lot of sex. Never again will I call something "un-funny" lest it be this movie. Oh yea...speaking of the sex. Thumbs down man! I've seen a bit of pornography in my time on this planet and this was piss-poor.

Lots of unattractive women clumsily pawing at their own breasts does not = sexy. Cottage cheese thighs? Surely inevitable for most people...but extremely not sexy.

the funniest part of the "film" (in terms of the sort of funny I was hoping for) was the "special effects scenes"
Like the CG shots of "Throbbiton"...which resembled the sort of thing you would see in really bad local TV ads. Only much much much worse.

okay that's all for now.


PS: okay I just ran a spellcheck on this post and only one word came up as wrong...that never happens to me. Is something wrong with this spellcheck?

PPS: Supersonic, Elektronik

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