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Thursday, May 26, 2005
Unchain My Heart

A fun question to ask people when they get a year older, especially when they reach a milestone year, is "Do you feel any different now that you X-years old?". Of course you don't feel different it just sounds weird.

I didn't really feel any different either until yesterday when, after working out for about 10 minutes at the gym and experiencing some pain in my "bathing suit area" I went back to my desk and lost consciousness.

My friends at work called an ambulance and paramedics arrived shortly after. My blood sugar was low and my heartbeat was erratic. As I was being put into the ambulance the paramedic asked my how I was feeling (for about the 10th time). I said I was cold and a little nauseated. He gave me a blanket (which apparently I now own and must pay for) and told me my nausea was probably due to the fact that he gave me 20 candy bars worth of sugar. I hope he was exaggerating.

Anyhow By the time I got to the hospital I was feeling much better. The doctor kept me around so he could run a few EKG's on me. Apparently my heart sorta freaked out.
The doctor felt that it was something of an anomaly and nothing to be too concerned about. In his words, "We're not in heart attack land or anything like that”. He kept referring to it as “an electrical disturbance”. In My head I kept hearing the words “in the force” appended to that phrase. He also said, “It's not something that will lead to other problems".

He put me in touch with a cardiologist anyway (which I see on Wednesday) and I'll have to make an appointment with a urologist (which I think may be the fun-fun-funest doctor a man can visit).

Everyone at work was very cool and helpful. Whish was awesome. My dad was on the phone with me here and there as the night wore on, and my roommate had the fun job of hangin out and waiting with me while the doctor's did their doctor stuff behind the magic screen of my room.

He also had the sublime pleasure of sitting in the room while I peed into the plastic jug they supplied as a urinal. The nurse-guy told my roommate he had to watch and make sure I didn’t pass out again!

What a trooper!



Wednesday, May 25, 2005
You Know My Name, Look Up The Num-bah

It's no secret...Grandmothers love grandkids. They especially love the little grandkids. It should be no surprise then, that once the first round of grandkids grows up (say by the time they are around 30), the Grandmother starts jonesin for another fix....They start pining for the great grandkid.

Some grandmothers will go to great lengths to try and get this to happen.

They'll cheat, lie, and steal their way into a new bundle of joy.

My grandmother has decided to go straight pimpin.

It's true...My grandma has no confidence in my skills. In her mind...I got no game. So when she's in Chili's for example...and she sees a waitress who seems nice. She gets her phone number FOR ME, and spends the next few days calling me and asking me if I've used it yet.

So last night I used it. I called this girl...Apologized to her for my grandmother's harassment and asked her out for a drink. She basically said, "what the hell...Why not".

So now I got plans for Friday.

We'll see how that goes. :)


PS...today's Hollywood Baditude goes to this guy.

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Tuesday, May 24, 2005
I Can't Go For That

I submit that Hall and Oates crafted some of the greatest Pop Music the world has ever seen (heard). What a weird duo too. On the one hand you've got this sorta blonde pretty boy...totally ready for MTV. Next to him you've got someone who basically looks just like BabbaBooey. seriously...check it out:


okay maybe they weren't separated at birth or anything...but I see a resemblance for some reason.

Anyway...I always used to feel bad for poor old Oates. I remember seeing videos for "Private Eyes" or "Your Kiss is on My List" and Hall would get something like 80% of the screen time. It was always long slow tracking shots of this blonde mimbo clumsily emoting into the camera lightly sprinkled with quick flashes of a brooding Oates (who was probably bent outta shape for being so marginalized).

I was young but I could already tell that MTV was going to change (already had changed?) the face of popular music by insisting that it had to be a pretty one.

Here's something else.

Last night a friend and I were discussing the current state of Gasoline prices and I suddenly found myself thinking back to the days when I would roll into a gas station, stroll over to the window and plop down something like a buck thirty in change for just enough gasoline to get me home.

those were good times.




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