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Wednesday, August 17, 2005
I Got Ya Horse Right Here.

I have been known to partake in the occasional game of chance. I've doubled down, made the nuts on the river, rolled hot dice, and tried to hit 4 game parlays on a teaser ticket. For the most part I like to think I'm a pretty savvy gambler. There is one place where I can't seem to wrangle myself a win. That place is where the turf meets the surf -- the Del Mar Race Track.

Despite my dismal record playin the ponies, I still find myself at the races fairly often in the summer. The marketing wizards teamed up with local radio stations a few years back and started bringing some cool bands to the track on race day. All you need to do is buy a cheap ticket into grounds and you can rock out once the horses stop running.

Of course...It's a cheap ticket until you drop 50 bucks on "Ludicrous Speed" in the 6th. Seriously...How do you NOT bet the farm on a horse called "Ludicrous Speed"?

After yet another winless afternoon I took a moment to look back on my horse-betting career and I was pretty sure that I was in the midst of a 5-year dry spell. I don't mean it's been 5 years since I've come out ahead, I mean I think it's been 5 years since I cashed a winning ticket.

Well that dry spell came to a thunderous end this past weekend as I rode "Runs In The Family" to a thirty dollar victory. It was an appropriate name since my dad has always been fairly successful at the track and since this was the first time I approached my betting using advice he gave me a few days earlier.

I also went and saw Cake who played after the last race was run and put on their usual fantastic performance.

While walking around, winning money, and rocking out, I noticed a few things I'd like to share with you.

1) Horse racing and toddlers do not mix.

Del Mar does have a grassy infield that was designed to appeal to families and I can understand wanting to bring your kids out to the races for a few hours. It's a good theory, you got animals (so it's kinda like a zoo), you got junk food, semi-fresh air, and sunshine.

In practice it's stupid. Especially on the day that Coors sponsors a Micro-brew beer festival in the infield. It's a recipe for disaster as droves of drunken beer fans collide (literally) with the stroller set. Little Timmy gets to witness profanity and debauchery first hand while fisting his face with Kettle Korn.

2) Concerts and small children do not mix.

Here's a message to the pregnant chick standing 5 people back, at a general admission rock concert, tryin to control the rest of her under-aged brood while the crowds around her swell and threaten to trample her off-spring...."You are a retard".

Oh and to the guy who standing a couple feet to the side of her with his huge igloo cooler..."You are also a retard".


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