I have found some kind of temporary sanity in this shit blood and cum on my hands.
Your thinking that with a title like that this entry has to be good right? Let's find out.
Today I bought a cutting board. Specifically a John Boos & Co Poly cutting board. I have a wooden block, but I was told I needed a specific board for meats, and a specific board for vegetables and stuff so I can prevent things like "cross contamination".
It's precautions like this that give us our super sassy modern life expectancy
Anyhoo I was casually glancing at the "care instructions" that came with my purchase and at the top of the list I found this:
"1. Do not allow moisture of any kind to stand on the cutting board for long periods of time. Water, blood, urine, and dish water may contain bacteria which can become trapped in knife cuts on the board."
Okay...So did I mention that his was a cutting board for preparing food on? Right. SO this is not like..A medical cutting board or a bathroom cutting board.
I mean. I suppose I can understand the blood thing. After all there are knives involved and accidents happen. I am curious about the person who clips their finger while chopping carrots, and figures it's okay to just let that blood chill out for a couple days after the accident. I mean cutting board or no...You would think your natural instinct is to clean up blood whenever its spilled in your home.
Also...What's' with the urine? Why urine? Why is urine on this list? For godsake what are people doing on or with these cutting boards? Why include urine on this list and not Semen? It makes one wonder...Can you ejaculate all over your cooking utensils and assume it safe to leave it be for a day or two? I'm pretty sure that the guy who needs the urine warning ALSO needs the semen warning. I may write a letter.
Lastly....And after the urine thing it's a minor quibble...Do we need to give dish water its own category? I would think that "water" pretty much covers all water. Sea water, sewer water, fresh water, distilled water...water. You're tellin me your gonna go the extra mile for dish water but leave out semen? This is a concern to me.
Anyway, let it be known that I have been properly warned and will leave _NO_ substance on my cutting board for any extended amount of time. You may dine in my home with confidence.
Labels: pop and/or culture