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Thursday, June 15, 2006
Do ya wanna go where I never let you before?

Wow...More than a month since my last entry. I rule.

As many of you know, I am an enthusiastic believer in the idea that heterosexual men and women can maintain genuine platonic friendships. I'm not sure that's an entirely controversial idea these days, but there's still quite a lot chatter on the matter. Alongside my defense of cross-gender friendships goes my suspicion that the majority of them are fueled by some level of sexual attraction.

Some might say that men and women are only friends as long as one refuses to sleep with the other. I know that I have had friendships with women that ended up dissolving right around the same time that the sexual tension did. On the other hand I also have long standing friendships with women whom I am attracted to but have no interest in sleeping with. I suppose I also have a number of female friends who I'd be happy to spend the night with but never will -- and I'm fine with that (barely).

There are a few women in my life with whom I've been friends with for quite some time. I may like them (and I do mean "like" like them), but I always assume that these women are off limits. They are friends. Buds. Homies. You don't really hook-up with your homies.

At least MOST of the time you don't.

This year I did manage to get to know one of these long-time friends a bit better over the course of an evening. (The person in question has asked me to leave her name out of this blog entry, so I'll give you - the reader - the same instructions for the comment section below.)

I think this little encounter will have to remain an isolated incident. I am glad it happened though. It seems like our relationship had been leading up to this one event for quite some time now. It remains to be seen if our friendship is better or worse off as a result. I of course assume that it will be better -- I think it's probably naive to assume that it will remain completely unchanged (at least at first). I mean...There's no denying that there is something slightly odd about seeing a long-time friend naked for the first time. (I'll be curious to see what Gabe and Mick or the infamous Phipps does with that soft ball of a sentence I just lobbed out there)

In other news along the same lines...I think my "thing" with Long Beach Becky has about run it's course. In fact it may have been done 5 or 6 weeks ago. It was really a good thing while it lasted, but it could not last forever. LBB will be off to Brazil in a few weeks anyhow. I know she's got an amazing few years ahead of her down there and I wish her all the best.

So here I am, a fling or two later, and still searchin. This translates into: "I'm still on Match.com even though I'm mostly sick of it". Here's one of the more interesting email encounters I've had recently.

Girl sends me the first email and it reads: "check out my profile if you are interested".

I find this odd. I mean. This person has done pretty much nothing to get my attention other than send me an email asking me if she has my attention.

"whatever" I think, and follow the link to her profile.

There's no picture (*warning*), but a pretty intelligent and sincere (though fairly typical) little blurb about "substance over superficiality". I'm not at all repulsed, but still feel a bit in the dark about what this person is all about so I fire back an email. It's also fairly typical. A couple friendly lines regarding my response to her profile, and a casual question or two to get the ball rolling.

Her response: "I am not interested in emails. If you want to get to
know each other, we can talk over the phone, meet in person, and go from

Uuuh...Okay. Not only does this come off as "less-than-friendy", but it doesn't leave me too many options since she left me no phone number.

I decide not to act on this email immediately. However the next day I get another email from this woman: "Didn't you get my message?"

Now in my experience it is not uncommon to wait 2 or 3 days before hearing back from some of these people. It had been less than 24 hours between "I am not interested in emails" and "didn't you get my message?"

so I respond and basically say something like, "I didn't get back to you because you don't like email and you didn't leave me a phone number, but I would enjoy chatting on the phone for a bit sometime. Leave me your number and I'll call you in a day or two".

I sprinkle the message with a few tactical smiley-faces so the mood is clear and off it goes.

So what do I get the next day? "Ok. Let's talk over the phone and go from there. I suggest we exchange numbers first. What is yours?"

wait a minute...Didn't I just ask this girl for her number in my last correspondence? Is it me or does this person seem extremely evasive and weird? Why do I keep responding to these terse emails?

So I am officially letting this one off the hook. I can only imagine what an actual date with this mystery-woman would be like:

"So Baditude" she says (her face hidden behind a menu) "are you interested in ordering?"

"sure, I think I'll have the chicken and maybe a salad. Would you be interested in sharing one? What kind do you like?"

"I don't care for salad."

"um okay...You want an appetizer?"

"I've got an idea...Why don't we consider an appetizer?"

"okaaaaay...um calamari is good, or spinach dip...What do you think?"

"about appetizers?"


"should we order appetizer?"


"I don't care for appetizer"


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