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Monday, January 07, 2008

I've Been A Victim Of A Selfish Kind Of Love

Welcome to 2008. It is the new year and I could resolve to write more blog posts, but that would probably doom this blog to a complete melt down. My resolutions pretty much always fail. I like to think that's because I'm mostly perfect and it's just so damned hard to improve on something so grate...er...great.

Mostly it's because I'm lazy.

Last year I resolved to take a more active role in my community, and to devote more of my time to charity. I looked up a few options on-line and everything I found wanted me to take a class or sign some papers or some shit. I just wanted to show up somewhere and get to helpin'. Not really possible it seems. Really though I have no good excuses for being self absorbed all year.

Which leads me to the next issue. I have recently realized that my entire life is devoted to leisure. I spend pretty much every waking hour in the pursuit of some sort of hobby, game, or entertainment. Even my job (working in video games) is devoted to leisure. It's my sole purpose for being.

Sometimes I clean my house. That's not too fun.

Otherwise I have so much in the way of pastimes that I don't have time for all of it. I recently got myself a Playstation 3 and thanks to my job and the connections there I've already got a sizable library of new and un-played video games. I've got a DVR FULL (72%) of unwatched TV shows and a Netflix subscription that is totally going to waste. There's too many concerts I'll miss. Too many books I'll never read. More than a couple board games that await their first trip out of the box. There is plenty of traveling to do, ocean to surf, soccer to play, rocks to climb, etc etc.

Somewhere in-between all that there's still smokin' hot chicks who need my attention. Or so I've been told.

I'm obviously far too busy pleasuring myself to give my time to random strangers with real problems. I think if I was any sort of a decent person I'd follow through on that resolution from 2 years ago already.

Speaking of pleasuring yourself. Here is a riddle for you (based on a conversation I had last year):

A woman goes into a sex-shop. She buys something and you get to guess what that something is. Here are your hints:

1) NOT something you wear.
2) NOT something intended for arousal.
3) NOT something you read or watch.
4) NOT contraception.
5) Something that WILL contact the genitals.

Those of you who know the answer, don't spoil it for others.

So 2007 is over and it was quite a year for me and my single-nes. I'm still trying to figure out if it was a good year or a bad year. Feels like bad year. Started off bad.

There was certainly a fair amount of activity overall. I hit the internet dating scene pretty hard for a while with mixed results. Made a friend at least. Went back to some more "old school" methods and thought I had found one or two encouraging leads. Didn't quite pan out. One was particularly disappointing but such is life.

My family continues to hit on strange women for me. Everyone seems to be taking a turn at this practice (originally pioneered by my grandmother at a local Chili's). Most recent victim is some poor 20-year old over at Nordstrom. My dad just shakes his head with bewilderment. "We found this really cute girl" he'll say (as if she was a stray cat) "but he (meaning me) refuses to call her!". It's like I'm refusing to procreate just to spite them.

The other thing I heard a few times in 2007 is what a hot commodity I should be. People who tell me this:

1) My Family
2) Married Women
3) Old Married Women

Apparently a single guy like me, at my age, with my myriad qualities, this is when I'm supposed to "bloom". I'm prime meat. Grade-A, super-awesome.

It's not that I don't believe the hype. It's just that people have been telling me this for years. "wait till you are a senior in high school." "wait till you get to college." "wait till you stop waiting tables." "wait till your 30".

I keep peaking and peaking all over again (which makes me dyn-o-mite in the sack!)

Anyway. The search goes on. If all that sounded as pitiful as I fear, the next part will probably read like someone "talking themselves into something". Trust me -- I'm pretty far from miserable. I just suspect that my stumbling little journey through singledom is kinda amusing.

I feel like I'm in a good place. Yea would kinda like someone to share it with, but until that someone comes along I've got plenty to keep me busy and good friends to hang out with. You can see some of those people here in my photo set from New Years:

The First Second of 2008

Happy oh-08 Everyone!


PS. I resolve to write more blog entries this year.

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